The Silly-Savvy Salopian

Alternative Living

I live far, far away in a cold, cold cave. Curled up, warmed by a horse’s breath. Knowing that, in the morning, I will ride out on my mount and look down at passers by, feeling smug. Pitying them for their dull routines and their motorised lives, as women and men – both – droneContinue reading “Alternative Living”

Black Dog v Tulip Dance

Light-lidded sleep eludes me. Last night’s sleep was angry. I was shouting, shouting at the Black Dog; shouting at the Black Dog for making up lies. In the morning, I saw that the canine teeth were just the yellow, brown-stained fangs of an unbrushed-tyrannical humanoid. A man not a man; an invention, programmed to clingContinue reading “Black Dog v Tulip Dance”

House on the Hill

House on the hill stands three storeys proud, aloof and haughty, ignoring its lowly neighbours of two storeys, and pretending that its three storey copies are just shadows of itself, lurking, awaiting an invitation into existence – an invitation that is no more than mere fantasy. House on the hill is aware that it, too,Continue reading “House on the Hill”

Taking the Plunge

‘Channel’ image courtesy of Pixabay.com Everyday I plunge my hands in deeper; deeper into souped-up aluminium bubbles, and my fingers swim into exhaustion, sinking onto a bed of potato peel, carrot ends, soggy-sticky labels, spongy chunks, and skin cells. Peels, ends, labels, chunks and cells twirl and skip into plughole descent. But, only the cellsContinue reading “Taking the Plunge”

Shamelessly Marbellous

‘Marbles’ image courtesy of Pixabay Shamelessly, I practise my plies at the bus stop. Shamelessly, shameless, I sing ‘Tired of Sleeping’ in the shower. Not ashamed of anything, I dress in old lady’s attire: brown floral blouse, salmon pink tights, and comfy white shoes from Clarks. Shamelessly, I laugh at all the shams out there.Continue reading “Shamelessly Marbellous”

Enough As I Am

Inspired by the wise words of Meghan, The Duchess of Suffolk: ‘You are enough just as you are.’ The Royal Foot of Jay Cool, a Salopian, stepping out for a stroll in her Suffolk residence. You are enough, said my foot. You are appreciated for your fine taste in dressing me up in such beautiful royalContinue reading “Enough As I Am”

Satisfied

‘Coffee’ image courtesy of Pixabay.com Ginger. Memorable. Memorable in its orangeness. The orangeness of everyone’s favourite treat. The never-to-be-forgotten excitement of eating a full pack of Jaffa cakes – all sweet and moreish – by oneself. To be remembered for being ginger. Is to be satisfied. Copyright owned by Jay Cool, January 2019 Inspired byContinue reading “Satisfied”

Decapitated

Ibuprofen. Take it. That’ll do it. But … Take it. I take it. Needles. Curved and hooked, curl themselves around my gums and up. Up, up, up and into my cheekbones, pricking the rings of my eyes. It doesn’t do it. Fill it. Take out the old. And fill it with new. Fill it. That’llContinue reading “Decapitated”

What do I buy so many books?

‘Narrative’, courtesy of Pixabay.com Why do I buy so many books; far more than I can read? The answer’s simple, you will see; a look is all I need! I spy The Catch (1) upon the shelf; of Smith’s in Colchester. I did not come for this to buy, so why not let it rest?Continue reading “What do I buy so many books?”

Falling Through

‘Teddy’ image courtesy of Pixabay.com Was anyone looking when I fell through my brain, fell out of the bottom and down my throat into my stomach? Did anyone help when I tried to climb back up and away from the swirling quagmire but fell back down? Will anyone know that I am still here standing,Continue reading “Falling Through”