Jay Cool has acquired the title of ‘The Silly-Savvy Salopian’, due to her eccentric ways and her egocentric obsession with Shropshire. So deluded is she, that she claims to have been birthed within a Salopian cave, and to be descended from every significant soul to set foot on Salopian soil. No-one has yet dared to point out to this fruit-loop that she herself lives in Suffolk, a point which gives rise to some serious doubts about her credibility.
It is, of course, just about feasible that red-haired Jay is related in some way to the cave-dwelling-ginger-bearded dwarves of the Shires. Did her unusual height give rise to suspicions about her pedigree? Could this have led to her expulsion from the aforesaid-cave community?
Whether she be deluded, or not, Jay’s enforced hermitage has resulted in an outpouring, not of tears, but of scrawl after scrawl, of memoirs, stories and poems, a plea to the world to listen, and to believe …
The Significance of Being Ginger
For those who doubt the validity of Jay Cool’s ancestral claims, just take a look at her fine head of hair, and doubt no further!
William the Conqueror was a ‘ginger’, as was Henry VIII and several of his wives, and as was Edward I, and as was Joan of Acre, and as was Lady Elizabeth Grey of Myddle Castle, and …. as was the first cat the Cool family had the pleasure of being acquainted with – Bobby!
Oh, and, before I forget, as is the author’s brother, Lord Something-or-Other (or was, before he went bald), , and as is …. Sorry, folks, that’s just about it! (Unless, … Ed Sheeran? Rupert Grint? Nicole Kidman? Cousins?)
And, in any case, are we not all descended from the very first gingers – the Neanderthals?
Photographs of Jay Cool, the author’s own, and the photograph of Edward II is in the public domain.
Links to The Silly-Savvy Salopian‘s blogs:
Jay Cool’s nemesis, first-time traveller, steps out of her cave to take a trip to Myddle, the birthplace of her paternal Grandfather Arnold Cool, and her maternal Many-Times-Great-Grandfather, Sir Humphrey Kynaston – the notorious Highwayman and thug.
Jay Cool, travel-writer extraordinaire, sends her nemesis on a return visit to Myddle, from whence a Dacia Sandero takes her and her entourage on a tour of Shropshire’s hotspots:
Jay Cool’s nemesis, psychic extraordinaire, takes advice from the voices of deceased Salopian authors, as she attempts to resurrect their talents, emulating their skills in her own masterpieces:
Early Years in Shropshire
Jay Cool shares her own childhood memoirs, from her early years in Shropshire:Albrighton (near Wolverhampton), Church Aston (near Newport) and, Wem.
Mission Around the Coast
Jay Cools recalls the many coastal locations her Port Missionary family lived in, including: Grimsby, Aberdeen, Fleetwood, Felixstowe, Aberdeen (2nd time round), Immingham and East Tilbury.
Jay Cool tells the stories of a selection of her Salopian ancestors, including Sir Humphrey Kynaston, Grandfather Arnold Cool, and Sir Thomas Leighton.
A motley collection of Jay Cool’s poems, published in commiseration of reaching the 46th year of her life.
Poems inspired by a Silly-Savvy Salopian’s bus travels around Suffolk and Essex; travels that, sadly, due to government funding cuts, and the consequent scrapping of certain bus routes, are no longer possible. Lamentable.
Poems on all manner of topics, including people, politics and the British weather!
Works of genius inspired by the mess in a Suffolk garden, followed up with a plea to ancestor Great Grandfather Geoff Cool, a keen gardener, to come and do a makeover. Failing that, Jay Cool, is working on linking her family tree up to the famous Salopian gardener, Percy Thrower.
An anthology of poems created in cafes, during recovery from malaise – J K Rowling style (minus the baby)! All courtesy of pots of Prado Lounge’s tea, Costa’s latte and Café Nero’s hot chocolate Milano (with lots of cream). Jay Cool awaits the arrival of her invitation to be the resident poet of Prado Lounge – the only payment required being a lifetime’s supply of tea, and the occasional Boston Bean brunch.
Jay Cool’s nemesis travels around the globe, featuring such property hotspots as the Chilton Industrial Estate in Sudbury, Suffolk.
A taste of the talent on offer at Suffolk Punch Comedy Club, a monthly stand-up comedy show, that raises funds for research into prostate cancer. Join PJ, as he emcee’s and mentors some of the best, including our very own Martin Westgate (Simon Cowell, as gorgeous as he is, made his biggest mistake ever by buzzing this one off the Britain’s Got Talent stage!). And join Jay Cool’s nemesis, blogger extraordinaire, as she steals all of the best jokes!
A link to ‘Dissident Voice’, a website that has seen fit to publish some of Jay Cool’s poems.
Carolina Lily in Bloom
A link to the blogsite of a sometime-removed cousin of Jay Cool. Carolina Lily is a talented writer who provides some uplifting words of wisdom.
A Savvy Disclaimer
Although based loosely on family tree research, courtesy of Ancestry.com, Jay Cool, a once-was-ginger comedic blogger and incredibly-serious poet, would like readers to be very wary of using any of the information contained within these blog posts for serious research.
Jay is a loon, and not a professional anything. Exiled from her native Shropshire, she has gone into permanent hibernation, courtesy of a industrial-storage container in Suffolk. Occasionally, she releases her nemesis, of the same name, but better known as The Silly-Savvy Salopian, from it’s hideout.
The reader would be correct in making assumptions, based on the quality of Jay’s sleeping accommodation, that her funds, and her feet, do not stretch to the challenge of exhaustive-archival research.
It should also be pointed out that the surname ‘Cool’, and any associated Christian names, might not be good starting points for any keen family tree head hunters, unless they too, like the nemesis Jay, have been forced into constructing their own reality.
The copyright for this disclaimer belongs to the nemesis Jay Cool, August 2017