Suffolk Punch Comedy Club, a stand-up event on 20th July 2023 @ ITFC
The official blog by freelance creative, Jay Cool
So excited. Nothing kick-starts the old motor quite like punch after punch after punch of high-speed witticisms by Suffolk´s finest and funniest.
Take Louie Green, the top-rated compere with a talent for identifying and uprooting the most reluctant of participants.
Don´t let him pick on me, dont let him … Too late – he´s onto me! thinks Ashley.
Can you spot Ashley?
Photos by Jay Cool; image of audience members by Prawny from Pixabay.com
But, be your name Ashley, Ashley or even Ashley, if you´ve purchased a ticket for this show, there´s no escape and nowhere to hide. And, before one Ashley can object, the other Ashleys are left seething, as Louie (comedian-turned-talent scout) spares no blushes in signing up Priority Ashley as Ipswich Town´s goalie.
Awkward. But prior to any possible own-goal situation, a real man, a John rather than an Ashley comes to save the match. And John Mann does indeed turn out to be hilarious, even with his repertoire of funny being all tied up within a net of bedroom ropes, Scrotox (don´t ask!) and test kits for … (again, don´t ask!). For a share in all the hype, be it in a real Mann´s bedoire or otherwise, you´ll have to look up, book in and hook up with him yourself. Be quick, though – ´cos he´s a busy Johnny!
And this is all too evident when the Big-Mann Johnny scoots off to his next fixture …
… and is replaced by the illustrious (not lusty!) Mark Roy.
Young Mark turns out to be more a connoisseur of sweets than of flavours of the bedroom. It´s all a light and tasty relief from the previous stand-up´s excesses.
At least it is … until a job lot of seemingly innocuous Flumps insert themselves into Mark´s set, all hunched and bunched up together and all in demand of a decent separation and straightening out session. Say no more …
No matter, stand-up Alexa´s here to help! Ask her anything and she´ll respond inpromptu, just like the real thing. Well, almost. This rugby-playing Alexa specialises in the physical-reflex response, as opposed to the verbal variety preferred by her namesake. This comes down hard on the audience, as we are winded over and over again, finding ourselves involuntarily doubled up with laughter at her twist and turn punchlines.
A headline act is expected, but what actually turns up next is a hairline act.
The appropriately named Tom Wall places his fine head of bowl-cut hair (very likely a wig – possibly a mop-head) to the forefront of a purple-bricked wall and proceeds to entertain us with a hair-raisingly goofy set, something akin to Claudia Winkleman´s shampoo commercials, i.e. both nauseatingly excruciating in the cringe (and the fringe) stakes, but with Wall being Head and Shoulders above Winkleman in promotional value.
A fitting finale to yet another fantastic evening of fool-headed freakiness, courtesy of Suffolk Punch Comedy Club.
If you enjoyed this blog (and even if you didn´t) please secure yourself a ticket for the next big comedy event, at The Brewery Tap in Sudbury, Suffolk. Look forward to seeing you there (along with your donation of a massive bagful of non-perishable edibles – one bag per ticket holder)!
Double-crumpled into U-bend, I find the man that was me, still is me – and with boots, rope and crampons – as keen as ever, I pull me up my neck and spine, finding my growing knobbles and sinking crevices peaking and troughing – perfectly purposed!
Passing over the plateau of myself, I plant a pip, a pop of proof, prior to
p u s h i n g on down into the oblivion of my feet, prevented from pausing by point and protrusion of raggedy toe-nail, propelling me back up and over, returning me to the crumple that is the me that is now.
The Now-Me.
“Plumb crumble? Double cream?” offers the trolley lady. “And will that be with tea or coffee?”
And just for a moment, I find that the me that is now, the Now-Me, is perfectly-purposed to taste.
By Jay Cool, 18th February 2023
Written in the voice of a mountaineer, stopped in his tracks by the onset of Parkinson´s Disease, a progressive and incurable illness that (amongst other painful and debilitating symptoms) has caused a severe curvature of his spine.
They had nothing to do with each other. Not really.
Nothing in the way of communication passed between them, although one, it could be argued, was a regular guest of the other. Not by way of invitation; but more in the way of a gatecrasher. Although to use the word gatecrasher might seem to imply intent on the part of the visitor and, in this situation, with this visitor, there was no intent whatsoever.
The involuntary-gatecrasher certainly possessed a multitude of positive attributes; attributes which might, to the uninformed observer, be cited as more than enough to impress the highest calibre of a host. And, yet, it was not, it seemed, enough to earn the guest, even the flicker of hostly acknowledgement. Not that the guest, by way of return, if a lack of acknowledgement can in any way be returned, suffered in any way by such a rebuff. Again, there are some who might point out that, without intent on either the part of the guest or the host, there cannot possibly be the conception of a rebuff.
And, as has already been put forward, they had nothing to do with each other.
Not really.
Copyright owned by Jay Cool, Tuesday 28th December, 2021
‘Panic’ is the final of a series of three watercolour landscapes, inspired by my local walks during the UK’s Coronavirus pandemic lockdown.
This scene depicts The Water Mill, in Great Cornard, and is based on a photograph I took, late April, whilst making the most of my once-a-day exercise.
An army of viruses move in, ready to wreak havoc on the residents of Babergh, Suffolk.
The painting is on a 40 X 40 cm cas, and is intended to be displayed as a diamond shape. For maximum image resolution, on my mobile phone’s camera, I depict it here on the diagonal.
Copyright of ‘Panic’ painting owned by Jay Cool, April 2020 (not available for Creative Commons use – please contact me for permission, should you wish to use the image. Alternatively, you can purchase a print, e.g. postcard, letter card, fabric hanging, etc.
Paragliding through his paranormal ideas of what it is to be a human in an alternate reality, he concludes that to be normal is not, particularly, of paramount importance.
But, still, he feels and fears the perception of others and knows what it is to be paranoid.
Even so, his heart beats faster and his pulse races with potential.