Lines drawn, bent, broken and crossed
are re-straightened.
Fixed and stubborn.
Adults – not children – playing imaginary games.
Living dangerously, I make up my own mind.
And I straddle.
By Jay Cool, March
Image by PublicDomainPictures from Pixabay
Rage
Rage.
Rageous.
Raging it over.
Rage could be of benefit to the most
rageous of the enraged.
By Jay Cool, February 2024
Traction
Feeling All
Upgradable
Able and graduated, he fills up at his usual steady pace,
growing and expanding to bursting point, and I know what it is to vicariously deflate.
By Jay Cool, 25th December, 2023
Faster, Wireless, Connected
Being wireless and connected,
I move faster along my allotted length of beingness until, finally, I reach my
s l o w e n d
stop.
Knotted
To be or not to be
in love
is to be me –
knotted.
By Jay Cool, 25th December, 2023
Winkleman v. Wall @ Ipswich Town FC
Suffolk Punch Comedy Club, a stand-up event on 20th July 2023 @ ITFC
The official blog by freelance creative, Jay Cool
So excited. Nothing kick-starts the old motor quite like punch after punch after punch of high-speed witticisms by Suffolk´s finest and funniest.
Take Louie Green, the top-rated compere with a talent for identifying and uprooting the most reluctant of participants.
Don´t let him pick on me, dont let him … Too late – he´s onto me! thinks Ashley.
Can you spot Ashley?
Photos by Jay Cool; image of audience members by Prawny from Pixabay.com
But, be your name Ashley, Ashley or even Ashley, if you´ve purchased a ticket for this show, there´s no escape and nowhere to hide. And, before one Ashley can object, the other Ashleys are left seething, as Louie (comedian-turned-talent scout) spares no blushes in signing up Priority Ashley as Ipswich Town´s goalie.
Awkward. But prior to any possible own-goal situation, a real man, a John rather than an Ashley comes to save the match. And John Mann does indeed turn out to be hilarious, even with his repertoire of funny being all tied up within a net of bedroom ropes, Scrotox (don´t ask!) and test kits for … (again, don´t ask!). For a share in all the hype, be it in a real Mann´s bedoire or otherwise, you´ll have to look up, book in and hook up with him yourself. Be quick, though – ´cos he´s a busy Johnny!
And this is all too evident when the Big-Mann Johnny scoots off to his next fixture …
Read more: Winkleman v. Wall @ Ipswich Town FC… and is replaced by the illustrious (not lusty!) Mark Roy.
Young Mark turns out to be more a connoisseur of sweets than of flavours of the bedroom. It´s all a light and tasty relief from the previous stand-up´s excesses.
At least it is … until a job lot of seemingly innocuous Flumps insert themselves into Mark´s set, all hunched and bunched up together and all in demand of a decent separation and straightening out session. Say no more …
No matter, stand-up Alexa´s here to help! Ask her anything and she´ll respond inpromptu, just like the real thing. Well, almost. This rugby-playing Alexa specialises in the physical-reflex response, as opposed to the verbal variety preferred by her namesake. This comes down hard on the audience, as we are winded over and over again, finding ourselves involuntarily doubled up with laughter at her twist and turn punchlines.
A headline act is expected, but what actually turns up next is a hairline act.
The appropriately named Tom Wall places his fine head of bowl-cut hair (very likely a wig – possibly a mop-head) to the forefront of a purple-bricked wall and proceeds to entertain us with a hair-raisingly goofy set, something akin to Claudia Winkleman´s shampoo commercials, i.e. both nauseatingly excruciating in the cringe (and the fringe) stakes, but with Wall being Head and Shoulders above Winkleman in promotional value.
A fitting finale to yet another fantastic evening of fool-headed freakiness, courtesy of Suffolk Punch Comedy Club.
If you enjoyed this blog (and even if you didn´t) please secure yourself a ticket for the next big comedy event, at The Brewery Tap in Sudbury, Suffolk. Look forward to seeing you there (along with your donation of a massive bagful of non-perishable edibles – one bag per ticket holder)!
By Jay Cool, author/ artist/ creative, July 2023
Useful links:
All is This
All is This
This is all.
All is this.
This is.
All.
Image & text by Jay Cool, March 2023
Miseverstood
Quirky, odd, miseverstood, she clutches at
the clouds that cuddle and clasp
the cords that knot together the
pylons that p u l l a p a r t
the pieces of themselves
with prancing.
Words and image by Jay Cool, February 2023
The Man That is Me
The Man That Is Me
Double-crumpled into U-bend,
I find the man that was me,
still is me – and with boots, rope and crampons –
as keen as ever,
I pull me up my neck and spine,
finding my growing knobbles and sinking crevices peaking
and troughing – perfectly purposed!
Passing over the plateau of myself, I plant a pip, a pop of proof, prior to
p u s h i n g
on
down
into the oblivion of my feet,
prevented from pausing by point and protrusion of raggedy toe-nail,
propelling me back up and over,
returning me to
the crumple
that is the
me that
is now.
The Now-Me.
“Plumb crumble? Double cream?” offers the trolley lady.
“And will that be with tea or coffee?”
And just for a moment, I find that the me that is now,
the Now-Me,
is perfectly-purposed
to taste.
By Jay Cool, 18th February 2023
Written in the voice of a mountaineer, stopped in his tracks by the onset of Parkinson´s Disease, a progressive and incurable illness that (amongst other painful and debilitating symptoms) has caused a severe curvature of his spine.
Image of mountaineer by sebastian del val from Pixabay.
Image of plums by h kama from Pixabay
Image of apple-crumble cake and coffee by Katja S. Verhoeven from Pixabay
Doddering
My garden fences being toppled by the high winds of Storm Dudley was only the start of it. A warning of the ferociousness of the storm to come.
Today …
the machine of destruction rolls in and over the right to be free from coercive
dictators.
Dragon fire. Death. Disaster.
The price of fuel, a triviality, considering …
steps taken –
strides needed.
Copyright owned by Jay Cool, Thursday 24th February 2022
Time Well-Spent
Days tumbling in on me,
knocking me flat,
and burying me
in spent
time.
Copyright owned by Jay Cool, January, 2022
Header image from pixabay.com
Obligatory – New Year
Is it new, to celebrate the start of a year in which one becomes older?
Does the angst of youth miraculously dissipate, or does it accelerate until it can no longer be retained by the brittle shell of depletion?
Copyright of Jay Cool´s thoughts owned by Jay Cool, Saturday 1st January, 2022.
Joined-up thinking?
According to The Sun, the coronavirus infection rate is slowing.
According to The Express, today’s coronavirus data is delayed.
According to the The Independent, the latest daily infection rate was 24 hours ago, at 183, 027.
No new updates are due until 7.30 pm today.
And yet.
According to a Bing search, as of 15.43 today, the 30th December, 2021, the daily rate of infections in the UK was 221, 250!
Joined-up thinking?
Confused?
Be confused no more. As of 20.58 today, The Daily Mail, put the record straight, knocking to total infection rate down to 189,213!
Sorted.
Copyright owned by Jay Cool, 30th December, 2021
Image courtesy of pixabay.com
Rebuff
They had nothing to do with each other. Not really.
Nothing in the way of communication passed between them, although one, it could be argued, was a regular guest of the other. Not by way of invitation; but more in the way of a gatecrasher. Although to use the word gatecrasher might seem to imply intent on the part of the visitor and, in this situation, with this visitor, there was no intent whatsoever.
The involuntary-gatecrasher certainly possessed a multitude of positive attributes; attributes which might, to the uninformed observer, be cited as more than enough to impress the highest calibre of a host. And, yet, it was not, it seemed, enough to earn the guest, even the flicker of hostly acknowledgement. Not that the guest, by way of return, if a lack of acknowledgement can in any way be returned, suffered in any way by such a rebuff. Again, there are some who might point out that, without intent on either the part of the guest or the host, there cannot possibly be the conception of a rebuff.
And, as has already been put forward, they had nothing to do with each other.
Not really.
Copyright owned by Jay Cool, Tuesday 28th December, 2021
Cravings
Caving in to my cravings,
considering the consequences,
is carelessly coquettish.
Copyright owned by Jay Cool, December 2021
Pre-emptive
“Clarity & Simplicity”
Lockdown Dance
Lockdown Dance
Lonely in lockdown
I keep company with the colours of the many versions of myself,
all of them, dancing, wriggling, moving and shifting,
adjusting to a new idea of what it is to be
alive and thriving
a life-force, freeing themselves up from the conventions
of what it once was to be constrained, constricted and conquered by
the coiling, controlling, and certifying
constraints of Captains, Commanders and
Kings.
Copyright of poem & image owned by Jay Cool, December 2020
Business As Normal
Microspread
Microspread
Fifty million doses.
Enough for two and a half million people.
A good spread.
Not available yet.
But critical.
Plausible, effective and willing, but not able to
quite r e a c h t h e e d g e s
and not even able to land in the middle.
Not even a droplet
ready for roll-out,
as yet.
But a big, important – MEGA!
Potentially-significant microspread!
Copyright owned by Jay Cool
Inspired by Downing Street`s Coronavirus Briefing, Monday 15th November, 2020
Image by Ken Boyd from PixabayTotal Lockdown – A Poem
Locked in.
Sprogs at school.
Hubby at work.
All breathing, mixing, inhaling.
And all due to return
soon.
And here I am. A mum locked
in.
A sitting duck.
Waiting.
As always.
Copyright owned by Jay Cool
Image by Manfred Richter from PixabayTest, Track & Trace – Poem
Stumped – A Lockdown Poem
Stopped.
Stopped, stopped and more stopped.
Standing still, stalling and
stumped.
Is this me, starting again?
Copyright owned by Jay Cool, November 2020
Image courtesy of Pixabay.com
Silly-Savvy Art: Panic
‘Panic’ is the final of a series of three watercolour landscapes, inspired by my local walks during the UK’s Coronavirus pandemic lockdown.
This scene depicts The Water Mill, in Great Cornard, and is based on a photograph I took, late April, whilst making the most of my once-a-day exercise.
An army of viruses move in, ready to wreak havoc on the residents of Babergh, Suffolk.
The painting is on a 40 X 40 cm cas, and is intended to be displayed as a diamond shape. For maximum image resolution, on my mobile phone’s camera, I depict it here on the diagonal.
Copyright of ‘Panic’ painting owned by Jay Cool, April 2020 (not available for Creative Commons use – please contact me for permission, should you wish to use the image. Alternatively, you can purchase a print, e.g. postcard, letter card, fabric hanging, etc.
Please see the first two paintings in this series, ‘Complacency’ and ‘Anxiety’.
Upcoming Events
In Commiseration Of
All it takes for evil to flourish is for good people to do nothing.
And here we are doing nothing.
Doing nothing about.
Trump.
Doing nothing about.
Allowing good people to be pushed, to be chained up, to be dragged away – faces to the ground.
Allowing children to starve. Children to be imprisoned. Children to be shot at.
Doing nothing about genocide. Nothing about Ukraine. Nothing about Palestine. Nothing about Sudan. Nothing about anything that is anything.
Allowing evil. Ignoring it.
Nothing to do with us.
Allowing it.
Allowing Trump.
Allowing good people to entertain evil.
By Jay Cool, in commiseration of Trump’s welcome by the UK, on 17th September 2025
Flight
run when
pursued by conclusions
grasped
by an abundance of wax filling in the voids
within stacks of untruths shaped into realisation by sympathetic ears
by Jay Cool, 12th April 2025
‘The Woodbridge Buoys’
With buoyant steps, I bounce along the banks of Deben
as feeling but an ounce, I bumble into take-off with
my chosen buoy,
bobbing.
Words & image by Jay Cool, January 2025
‘Ballet Dancers’
Shiny satin, glimmers from tarnished boards,
a muscle, stretched, bursts from bulging calf, spill-
ing into a shadow, as wings, lowered, sweep into mist and
retreat.
As sun-capped scalps open to new possibilities.
By Jay Cool, 30th December 2024
Inspired by Edgar Degas’ artwork, ‘Ballet Dancers’, as featured in ITV’s ‘My National Gallery.’ Image in the Public Domain.
Willing Participant
A willing participant,
a cat chilling on your bed,
brought down to take part
in the festivities,
to be stroked, watched, comforted
and made to watch
Vengeance Most Fowl.
By Jay Cool, December 2024
Image by Adina Voicu from Pixabay
Stare Back
Stare back, she says
when I say,
They keep staring
staring at me
looking round the corner
being sneaky
spying on me
Who? she says.
Children, strange children,
children looking at me while I play.
Children who want to play, she says.
So, I stare back, I stare back and they run away.
Gone, I say. It worked. I stared back and they ran.
Thanks, Nan.
She goes outside and the children are back again,
back staring at me and my Nan.
Hello, she says. This is my grandaughter, come to stay.
You want to play with her?
They do. And I get stuck. Get stuck playing with them.
Thanks, Nan.
Mum, they are staring at me.
Who? I say.
Children, strange children, looking round the corner, staring at me playing.
Stare back! I say
And she does.
Words and image by Jay Cool, December 2024
Inspired by the words ‘stare’ and ‘back’ in a Boxing Day family game of Scrabble, and childhood memories of staying with my grandmother at Fordhouses in Wolverhampton.
The Aftermath
Coffee table full of toiletries, chocolates and yesterday’s wine glasses,
mine still half-full – zoned out of the festive mode somewhere around the half-way mark
and snored my way through the final stretch to midnight
only vaguely aware of the accompanying strums on my son’s electric guitar
as he croaked out the last hits of a bygone band –
The Beatles.
Words & image by Jay Cool, 26th December 2024
Woman on The Run
Man on the run, running as far as he can, into oblivion, forgetting all about,
the woman,
not the woman in his life,
the woman as in all women,
the woman that tries over and over to run from the man
in her life.
The band that ties her.
By Jay Cool, December 2024
Inspired by Paul McCartney’s ‘Band on the Run’ song.
Unleashed
I look at the word – unleashed –
a synonym for going free-range or for freelancing it,
for taking a run and jump, and unfettering oneself from the
control and authority of anyone other than the thing that is the self or
the core of whatever it is to be me. I mean to write about
all of these things. But all I can think about is my shed.
And all I can see is that same shed – leashed up by a pair of harnessed Tom cats –
being
bumped
down my
garden steps
and being dragged off and out and along ……
Poem and image by Jay Cool, December 2024
The Silly-Savvy Salopian in Suffolk: read, believe and write ... 