Mindfulness

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My mind is full of the

things I mind about,

and I mind.

Mind you, to have

less in my head of the things I mind about would be to be something less than myself,

and that I really would mind.

Copyright owned by Jay Cool, March 2019

Image by cocoparisienne from Pixabay

Resignation

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A sign.

May offers to resign.

But, only if MPs accept her design.

May’s not a loss, but why toe the line,

if to give her the toss, we’ll swap her for twine?

 

Even if Donald has excellent thighs,

why tie up our produce in a tangle of lies?

 

Copyright owned by Jay Cool, March 2019

Inspired by May’s proposed resignation, and uninspired by Trump’s offer of a post-Brexit trade deal. And, in consideration of the sum of parts, calling for a second referendum. If to Brexit is to dally with Donald, Jay Cool opts to Remain!

Image by Luisella Planeta Leoni from Pixabay

Exonerated

False.

All made up.

All made up and fixed up.

All the words that blow out of my mouth.

All bubbles, airborne and popping, leaving nothing.

No untruths, no fairy tales, no collaborative cock-up with Putin.

All filled up, popped up and emptied, I leave you with my nothingness.

An empty space –                                                 the nothingness of me exonerated.

 

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Copyright owned by Jay Cool, March 2019

Written in response to Donald Trump’s claim that the Mueller report gives him ‘complete and total exoneration’.

 

Image by geralt on Pixabay.com

Something Important

Today, she is told;

today, she is surplus to requirements;

no longer required in the gap between the squeeze to make a profit.

Squished and squashed, until she can slip through the gap unscathed, she lands –

plop –

into a freshly-ploughed field.

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Fertilised, nourished and watered, she feels, for the first time, that she is a part of

something important.

She expands and fills herself up, the part of her merging with the whole of her.

For the first time, she is the something that is the something that is important;

for the first time, she is herself.

Copyright owned by Jay Cool, March 2019

Image by Lynn Greyling from Pixabay

Tape With A Heart

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Turns out that to be approaching fifty is to be

backtracking to forty,

taking a look at the unpaid-for mortgage, and trying to fast-forward to sixty,

before being trapped somewhere in the

                                                                      middle

to become the beating heart                                           of a tangle of tape.

 

Copyright owned by Jay Cool, March 2019

 Image by Markus Spiske from Pixabay

Failing to Make The Crumble

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Time cut short by a pinch,

the butter, once destined for a child’s bag of ingredients,

fails to make the crumble.

And it

s

l

i

t

h

e

r

s

down

a kitchen cabinet,

greasing a wooden door, and

slodge-piling

onto a

vinyl floor, as a mother’s feet, weary from a once-broken

toe, and a now-broken

morning, slither on

under.

 

Copyright owned by Jay Cool, March 2019

 

Image by tatlin on Pixabay.com

The Long Moment

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Longing for a long moment to come to be shorter,

he demands to know, ‘How long?’ and receives no reply,

just the elongating sound of silence, stretching out, out and stabbing into his

head, his thoughts, his freedom to remain encapsulated and undisturbed,

and his freedom to be momentarily himself,

a freedom now lost forever in an unknowable                                                         future.

 

By Jay Cool, March 2019

Image by nile from Pixabay.com

Dippy Bit

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I slice the top off my soft-boiled breakfast egg and watch as the little crackly bits start to cave in. But its a start-stop moment.  Most of the cracklies find themselves held back by a sticky membrane.

Have the cracklies been saved from a great fall into a disaster zone, or have they been captured, like fish in a net? Are they gasping, desperate for just one taste of runny egg yolk – one little sip before they die?

Will my house, stuck up here on this windswept hill, have its roof sliced off by a violent gust? Will just a few of the chips of red bricks cave into the bedrooms, fall through the en-suites, and end up swimming around in the bleach of a mop-bucket, or the grimy water of an abandoned bath-time.

And, will the rest bricks linger, held back from falling into the valley, by a plaster-board membrane. Did the Bovis builders cut costs with stick-on half bricks, like the stick-on sheets of tiles in my bathroom?

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And, over time, will the membranes give up the fight. Will the by-then-empty eggshell collapse onto my kitchen table, and then be wiped up and disposed of in the compost heap?

Will the plasterboard let go of its facade and watch the no-longer-sticky-backed bricks parachute down the valley and go for a skinny dip in the River Stour?

Will there be a cloth large enough to wipe up the spillage? Where will I live when my house has been disposed of?

Anxious, I boil another egg, empty out its contents and make the necessary arrangements for moving in.

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Copyright owned by Jay Cool, March 2019

Images from Pixabay.com

The Pebbles on the Beach: Book Review

I do not receive commission for any links to Amazon.

Pebbles.

A book titled ‘The Pebbles on the Beach’ might not an the obvious choice for a can’t-put-down read. But, having been picked up, it had to be bought.

And what drew an inlander from the sandstone caves of Shropshire, into a book about Britain’s peripheries in the first place? Why, the beautiful depiction of an orange pebble on the front cover of course!

I’ve always loved orange – reminds me of the ginger hair of my childhood self. A childhood self getting really angry with the strands of long hair inviting themselves into her mouth and, even worse, into her eyes. A childhood self, uprooted from the Shires and wandering along a windy seafront at Felixstowe. A childhood self seeking out shells and ending up, instead, with a bucketful of pebbles.

Unfortunately, I have no recollection of finding any orange beauties amidst Felixstowe’s shingle, but I do recall crops of numerous little white and irregularly-shaped collectables.

And, best of all, imprinted into my long-term memory, is a rounded-rich-yellow pebble;  an ordinary pebble, as dull and unappealing as an over-ripe banana. An ordinary pebble, kidnapped by my dad, before being sealed in and tumbled around by a mini-cement mixer on our kitchen table. Bored with the waiting, as the hours of tumbling turned into weeks, I didn’t hold out much hope for an ending.

But, when, finally, the day of reckoning came, I was more-than-delighted to find that the banana had been transformed into a shiny Cape Gooseberry; which, once glued to a bell cap and attached to a pretty gold chain, became my very own forever fruit!

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Forever fruit? Whatever happened to it? I don’t recall having seen it for years – many, many years. If it was so special, why is it no longer in my possession? I dig deep into my long-term-memory store, but I can’t recall losing it, giving it away or even storing it in a secret location for safe keeping.

Still, at least now, I have Ellis’ Bible of pebbles. Time to investigate:

According to the expert, then banded agates of pink and white bands can be found at Felixstowe, as can horny carnelians of yellow, brown and red. Was my yellow pebble a horny carnelian? I read on, but carnelians, it seems, have to be translucent, whereas my pebble was opaque.

So, if not a carnelian, what was it? Flint, quartz, jet, chalcedony, jasper or amber? All of these, the reader is told, can be found nestling in the shingle surrounding the Orwell estuary. But, on consulting Ellis’ identification chart, I fail to find a good match, until I finally settle on a conglomerate. A conglomerate, states Ellis, is a ‘fairly common rock’, also known as a ‘pudding stone’. In fact, if my yellow pebble was in reality a ‘pudding’, then it wasn’t really ever a pebble at all – more of a mass of pebbles cemented together!

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That can’t be right – my pebble was a pebble, not a social gathering of too-close-for-comfort-jaundiced-by-alcohol nobodies in a nightclub!

I decide that further research is required. Google, please rescue my lost yellow pebble from mundanity! An hour later, I give up! Seems that my pebble was uniquely unidentifiable. Why, oh why, did I give it up? In all of its rarity, it might have made me a millionaire! I check my Euromillions Lottery Ticket from last month. No, I am not the person who hasn’t claimed my windfall.

Still, all hope is not lost – whilst Googling away, I found this eye-catching image:

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Millionaire or not, then I reckon that this piece of yellow is affordable; plus, I can very likely purchase both the plastic chair and the grey shingle from Homebase, which is just around the corner from my current abode. But, that’s a trip for later.

Right now, I need to tell you that Ellis has, at least, enabled me to identify the whitish-Felixstonian pebbles of my past life.

White-coated flint.

Common-as-muck flint. Common, or not, the flint pebbles were the best shape, with angular bits that were easy to insert into the bell caps. Bring on the commoner! Raise them up, and then hang them around their own necks.

Ellis’ book of pebbles, as you may by now have been gathered, has become as essential to my present middle-aged-inland existence, as the memory of a yellow pebble is to the maintenance of my forever-youthful alter-ego.

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Copyright owned by Jay Cool, March 2019

P.S. I have just discovered that the newly-inspired pebble collector can obtain their very own mini-cement mixer from Amazon.com. And this stone-tumbling starter kit is perfect for all readers now in love with the colour yellow. Might even buy one myself!

 

 

Sources: Image of conglomerate from flickr.com. All other images, with the exception of the book, from Pixabay.com.

Intimidation

The years advance and she backtracks, shrinking and shrivelling,

arthritic hips, knee-joints and feet, reducing her movements to the crunching

of a shovel, scraping upon gritted concrete.

She thinks that she is insignificant now, passing through middle age to a lesser existence,

to an existence of otherness.

Others, though, others see her in all of her otherness.

Not only do they see her, they fear her.

They see and fear the enormous shadow;

a shadow cast up by her diminishing frame;

a shadow angry, threatening and intimidating;

a shadow flaunting its all-knowingness at them –

taunting them!

What does she know?

What does she know that they don’t?

What has she seen?

What tricks does she have?

Does she have the power to unearth them?

Scared and fearful, they feign mock laughter.

Laughing still, they lash out and dig

deep –

seeking to undermine her, to uproot her, to boot away her shadow.

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Well, it was either her or me, they would say to themselves, if they even ever thought

about what they had done at all, if they even

could

think

at

all.

 

Copyright owned by Jay Cool, March 2019