A Salopian in Suffolk to paints and writes herself into existence …
Stood in my art studio (ramshackle summerhouse): listened to the rain falling onto the roofing felt; hoped the wind wouldn’t be too harsh on my loose-perspex window panes.
Lamented the sunshine.
Not the best day for hanging out my laundry.
Felt glum.
Took up abstract art.
Here it is – the perfect representation of my glumness.
Quite cheered me up!
Soak up the rain.
Enjoy!
Copyright of image and text owned by Jay Cool, August 2020
Please visit my art shop, SillySavvyCreations
Driven on, and driving, through things still growing,
I reflect on the shortness of what it is to be me,
An illusory span of meness, contracting, shrinking – inches becoming centimetres becoming millimetres becoming nothingtres
as the concept of me is consumed by
the foliage that carries on growing, bending – homing
in
on the reality of being that is nothing so concrete as can be measured with a ruler, defined by a pencil outline of what is or was, or even captured in its briefness as image on film or photo.
Here now, then eaten.
Copyright of text & image owned by Jay Cool, August 2020
Inspired by the view of an industrial-equipment hire plant, located in Church Field Road, Sudbury, Suffolk. Can never quite make my mind up whether I would prefer to live in a castle, mansion, gypsy caravan, shepherd’s hut, or an industrial container nestled in the midst of a village of cranes. Hence, for now, whilst contemplating this issue, I’m staying put in my cave, just for a wee while longer – until I make my fortune.
Paint, paint, paint. And produce more paintings until someone out there recognises my genius and offers to purchase one (or more) of my great masterpieces for a considerate amount of dosh (£250 for ‘Chilton Heights’ anyone?).
‘Chilton Heights’, a gouache painting on 20 X 16 inch canvas board.
Copyright owned by Jay Cool, The Silly-Savvy Salopian in Suffolk
A leg.
Two hours crab fishing, and only a leg to show for it. Okay, it may have been a crab’s leg, but judging by it’s already defunct existence, if something defunct can be said to exist, then it could hardly be put to good purpose in the culinary sense. ‘Rotten Crab’s Leg Paste’ just didn’t have the same appeal as the ‘Classic Crab Spread’ or ‘Crab Paste with Soya Bean Oil’ that Mother so often put in my sandwiches.
How could I go back home, with just a leg to show for my first unaccompanied trip to the beach? No, I couldn’t do it – the leg, as it was, would have to go back from whence it came. Maybe, just maybe, if I put it back, it might have a second chance at life.
After all, didn’t the Iron Man’s detached hand, in that Ted Hughes’ book, go around collecting up all of the other broken-off bits: arms, torso, head and legs, and somehow put them all back together again?
There was nothing for it, but to act upon my instinct so, returning to the edge of the rock pool, I tipped the contents of my bucket -all one leg of it – back into life. And sure enough, within seconds, a huge claw, probably a crab’s, grabbed my leg, the one and only leg I had dared to dip into the pool, and nipped it, right on the tip of it, right on my big toe.
Just one leg. One active leg. How would I make across Beach Front Road, and back to Mother now?
By Jay Cool, June 2020
Image by Edward Kirkby from Pixabay
Gouache and collage, on 50 X 40 inch canvas board, painted in response to public queries regarding the whereabouts of Boris. See link to The Express article, ‘Where’s Boris?’
After a thorough search of the country – permission granted by Dominic Cummings ( i.e. one has to act upon instinct when in fear for the welfare of our PM!), I caught my first and last sighting of Boris hiding away amongst some saplings somewhere in the county of Suffolk. It’s possible he thought he was doing the landowner a favour, by scaring off the birds! Just hope he didn’t get paid for the job; the locals won’t be happy about a public school bigwig taking advantage of a pandemic situation, by sneaking into the county and snapping up one of their, much-sought-after, zero-hour contracts.
Please make contact with Jay Cool, should you be interested in purchasing this fine and original work of art.
Copyright owned by Jay Cool, May 2020
A piece inspired by the idiocy of Jacob Rees-Mogg, when he insisted MPs travel from far and wide, to vote at the House of Commons – in the midst of the Coronavirus pandemic! As the lesser mortals queue to vote, Rees-Mogg peers down at them, sharing out the virus to promote the Tory version of equality – the Lord of the Manor having a duty to be charitable towards his subjects!
This original artwork is gouache and collage on a 40X50cm canvas board.
Copyright owned by Jay Cool, June 2020
‘Select something,’ he said.
‘Yeah, I know, you said that before, but I just can’t think. It’s so hard to choose.’
‘Just go for it. Whatever. Anything that takes your fancy!’
‘But why? And if I do this, this time, what will you ask me to do next time?’
‘Who knows – might be something even bigger, even more exciting. So go on, select something – you know you want to. Go on. For me?’
‘Okay, for you, my all – my everything – I’ll do it. You know I will; don’t I always do whatever needs to be done. And at a time like this, we all need to play our part, don’t we? Even me!’
‘Right! So quit the prevaricating and tell me what you’ve chosen!’
‘Well, I’m thinking that I could be caught having a barbecue, maybe invite my elderly neighbour.’
‘Nah, forget it, it wouldn’t be big enough.’
‘But you said to select anything, anything, so why can’t I ..?’
‘No, forget it. I’m the boss. Of course, I didn’t really mean you to do the selecting, was just pandering to your ego. And, anyway, I thought you’d go for something bigger than that. It’s too tame! So, listen up!’
‘Okay, I’m all ears. Whatever you say; I am just your lowly advisor after all, so why wouldn’t I listen to your advice?’
‘Cut the sarcasm. This is the big one! This is what I want you to do. Get your wife to call you up, whilst your here, to say she’s ill.’
‘But that wouldn’t be true!’
‘Of course it wouldn’t be true – you dimwit! Since when did the truth count for anything?’
‘Errrr…’
‘Shut up! Keep listening!’
‘When you take the call, look petrified – then, drop everything and rush off to your home. Whisk your wife and kid into your car, and whip them over to Durham – you know where Durham is, don’t you?’
‘Course I do. You know I do. My parents live there. But I can hardly just nip up there – it’s 240 odd miles away!’
‘Oh, is it?’
‘Yes, Boris – don’t you ever drive anywhere?’
‘Well, no actually. My chauffeur takes control of all that stuff for me.’
Copyright of story, and featured image, owned by Jay Cool, The Silly-Savvy Salopian, 29th May 2020
Please peruse further posts by Jay Cool:
Savvy Poem – Questions for Rishi Sunak
‘Panic’ is the final of a series of three watercolour landscapes, inspired by my local walks during the UK’s Coronavirus pandemic lockdown.
This scene depicts The Water Mill, in Great Cornard, and is based on a photograph I took, late April, whilst making the most of my once-a-day exercise.
An army of viruses move in, ready to wreak havoc on the residents of Babergh, Suffolk.
The painting is on a 40 X 40 cm cas, and is intended to be displayed as a diamond shape. For maximum image resolution, on my mobile phone’s camera, I depict it here on the diagonal.
Copyright of ‘Panic’ painting owned by Jay Cool, April 2020 (not available for Creative Commons use – please contact me for permission, should you wish to use the image. Alternatively, you can purchase a print, e.g. postcard, letter card, fabric hanging, etc.
Please see the first two paintings in this series, ‘Complacency’ and ‘Anxiety’.
Second of a series of three watercolour landscapes, inspired by my local walks during the UK’s Coronavirus pandemic lockdown.
This scene depicts Winthrop Farm in Chilton, and is based on a photograph I took, during April, whilst indulging in my daily exercise ration. A shadow on the garden wall, looks eerily like a mammotholian Coronavirus, watching, searching, waiting, storing up information – getting ready to report its findings back to base.
The painting is on a 40 X 40 cm canvas, and is intended to be displayed as a diamond shape. For maximum image resolution, on my mobile phone’s camera, I depict it here on the diagonal.
Copyright of ‘Anxiety’ painting owned by Jay Cool, April 2020 (not available for Creative Commons use – please contact me for permission, should you wish to use the image. Alternatively, you can purchase a print, e.g. postcard, letter card, fabric hanging, etc.
Please see ‘Complacency’, the first painting of this series.
First of a series of three watercolour landscapes, inspired by my local walks during the UK’s Coronavirus pandemic lockdown. This scene depicts some industrial warehouses in Chilton, and is based on a photograph I took just before our government woke up to the reality of the impending crisis; hence the title ‘Complacency’. The painting is on a 40 X 40 cm canvas, and is intended to be displayed as a diamond shaped. For maximum image resolution, on my basic mobile camera, I have chosen to depict it here on the diagonal.
Copyright of painting owned by Jay Cool, April 2020 (not Creative Commons, i.e. contact me for permission, if you wish use this image, or if you would like purchase a print, e.g. postcard, or fabric wall hanging, etc.
Please see ‘Anxiety’, the first painting in this series.
The Silly-Savvy Salopian in Suffolk: read, believe and write ... 