Whatever Takes Your Fancy: Silly-Savvy Story

‘Select something,’ he said.

‘Yeah, I know, you said that before, but I just can’t think. It’s so hard to choose.’

‘Just go for it. Whatever. Anything that takes your fancy!’

‘But why? And if I do this, this time, what will you ask me to do next time?’

‘Who knows – might be something even bigger, even more exciting. So go on, select something – you know you want to. Go on. For me?’

‘Okay, for you, my all – my everything – I’ll do it. You know I will; don’t I always do whatever needs to be done. And at a time like this, we all need to play our part, don’t we? Even me!’

‘Right! So quit the prevaricating and tell me what you’ve chosen!’

‘Well, I’m thinking that I could be caught having a barbecue, maybe invite my elderly neighbour.’

‘Nah, forget it, it wouldn’t be big enough.’

‘But you said to select anything, anything, so why can’t I ..?’

‘No, forget it. I’m the boss. Of course, I didn’t really mean you to do the selecting, was just pandering to your ego. And, anyway, I thought you’d go for something bigger than that. It’s too tame! So, listen up!’

‘Okay, I’m all ears. Whatever you say; I am just your lowly advisor after all, so why wouldn’t I listen to your advice?’

‘Cut the sarcasm. This is the big one! This is what I want you to do. Get your wife to call you up, whilst your here, to say she’s ill.’

‘But that wouldn’t be true!’

‘Of course it wouldn’t be true – you dimwit! Since when did the truth count for anything?’


‘Shut up! Keep listening!’

‘When you take the call, look petrified – then, drop everything and rush off to your home. Whisk your wife and kid into your car, and whip them over to Durham – you know where Durham is, don’t you?’

‘Course I do. You know I do. My parents live there. But I can hardly just nip up there – it’s 240 odd miles away!’

‘Oh, is it?’

‘Yes, Boris – don’t you ever drive anywhere?’

‘Well, no actually. My chauffeur takes control of all that stuff for me.’


Copyright of story, and featured image, owned by Jay Cool, The Silly-Savvy Salopian, 29th May 2020

Please peruse further posts by Jay Cool:

Silly-Savvy Art: Panic

Silly-Savvy Story: Lockdown

Storm Diary 6 – Boris

Savvy Poem – Questions for Rishi Sunak

Rainbow Frowns: A Storm Poem

Savvy Letter: Dear Dom

Savvy Letter – Dear Dom (Again)

Silly Politics – Boris’ Eggy Feet

Published by The Silly-Savvy Salopian

Freelance writer and descendant of the cave dweller and outlaw, Humphrey Kynaston. Banished from Shropshire for my eccentricity, I have made my home in Suffolk. I write poetry, short stories, travel journals, comedy gig reviews and non-fiction articles. My wish is to write my way back into the heart of my birth land. All writing commissions (and free holidays in Shropshire!) considered.

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