‘Select something,’ he said.
‘Yeah, I know, you said that before, but I just can’t think. It’s so hard to choose.’
‘Just go for it. Whatever. Anything that takes your fancy!’
‘But why? And if I do this, this time, what will you ask me to do next time?’
‘Who knows – might be something even bigger, even more exciting. So go on, select something – you know you want to. Go on. For me?’
‘Okay, for you, my all – my everything – I’ll do it. You know I will; don’t I always do whatever needs to be done. And at a time like this, we all need to play our part, don’t we? Even me!’
‘Right! So quit the prevaricating and tell me what you’ve chosen!’
‘Well, I’m thinking that I could be caught having a barbecue, maybe invite my elderly neighbour.’
‘Nah, forget it, it wouldn’t be big enough.’
‘But you said to select anything, anything, so why can’t I ..?’
‘No, forget it. I’m the boss. Of course, I didn’t really mean you to do the selecting, was just pandering to your ego. And, anyway, I thought you’d go for something bigger than that. It’s too tame! So, listen up!’
‘Okay, I’m all ears. Whatever you say; I am just your lowly advisor after all, so why wouldn’t I listen to your advice?’
‘Cut the sarcasm. This is the big one! This is what I want you to do. Get your wife to call you up, whilst your here, to say she’s ill.’
‘But that wouldn’t be true!’
‘Of course it wouldn’t be true – you dimwit! Since when did the truth count for anything?’
‘Errrr…’
‘Shut up! Keep listening!’
‘When you take the call, look petrified – then, drop everything and rush off to your home. Whisk your wife and kid into your car, and whip them over to Durham – you know where Durham is, don’t you?’
‘Course I do. You know I do. My parents live there. But I can hardly just nip up there – it’s 240 odd miles away!’
‘Oh, is it?’
‘Yes, Boris – don’t you ever drive anywhere?’
‘Well, no actually. My chauffeur takes control of all that stuff for me.’
Copyright of story, and featured image, owned by Jay Cool, The Silly-Savvy Salopian, 29th May 2020
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