Do I really want to go forward with 2020, when I’ve just had the most bizarre carrot on a stick dangled in front of my senses?
Who, in the UK, or for that matter, the rest of the world, be it of American or European ilk, would want to egg old Boris on, as he pledges to ‘work’ his ‘socks off’? Is the sight, or the smell, of Boris’ bare feet really the thing that I need to be rid of the ‘division, rancour and uncertainty’ of 2019?
Okay, so I guess you could get the treatment: You could purchase one of those foot-egg things (be quick – I suspect the ones at Poundland have been imported from Europe!), and file away the outer crust; then, I suppose you could saturate your newly-revealed undercoat with a hefty dollop of that extra-minty food softening and reinvigorating cream (also available at Poundland). The improvement will be there, albeit marginal and temporary.
But, really, is this a new start, Boris, or just the baring of something old? Something previously tried, tested and failed, dressed up as something new, fresh and full of promise.
Take my advice: Put your socks back on, go back to bed and enjoy a long lie-in!
See you in 2021!
Copyright owned by Jay Cool, 1st January, 2020
P.S. For regular updates on Boris’ recovery, check back for your daily read of ‘The Man Who Went to Bed for a Year’! Not a rip-off of Sue Townsend’s novel of a similar title – honest! And under the leadership of a sleeping Boris, who could I be anything but sincere?