Savvy Poem – Left-Right Invaders

When seeking out a quiet spot, in a quiet cafe, to keep company with paper and pencil, and a pot of tea for one – first, check out the neighbouring tables. Are they empty and are they large? If the answer to either/or both of these questions is ‘yes’, then go sit in a field, with a warm coat and a flask of the hot stuff! If is only fair, after all, if other people (large, noisy, groups of people are allowed to do what they do best), and not at all reasonable for an introspective and unsociable Neanderthal to impose her unreasonable expectations of silence upon others!


Left-Right Invaders


So she’s always telling us.

Tired we are.

Checks her emails.


You know, how she laughs?

Clean one.

Oh dear!

Let’s get it!

How she laughs, yeah!


Yeah, how she laughs.


She’s coming!

Clean one.

Oh, how she laughs.


How she laughs.

Don’t get it!


Taste one more.



Right. She laughs. Lovely! Strangers.

Don’t get it!

Laughs. She. How?

I’m not laughing or lovely, but I am tasteful and tired, likely quite strange, and always, always right, and I’m definitely, definitely going … Not tomorrow, and not yesterday, but right here and right now!

Get it?



Copyright of poem and illustration owned by Jay Cool, the last remaining mortal with 100% Neanderthal DNA, 17th October, 2019

Other nonsense:

Savvy Letter – Dear Mark Twain

Sillily-Serious Poem – Young Boris

Savvy Style – Ginger Legs

Published by The Silly-Savvy Salopian

Freelance writer and descendant of the cave dweller and outlaw, Humphrey Kynaston. Banished from Shropshire for my eccentricity, I have made my home in Suffolk. I write poetry, short stories, travel journals, comedy gig reviews and non-fiction articles. My wish is to write my way back into the heart of my birth land. All writing commissions (and free holidays in Shropshire!) considered.

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