Friday 6th March 2020
Panic buying. The new crime.
As I stand in the queue at Sainsbury’s, I fall victim to the scorn of another shopper (a healthy-looking young man!) who’s sharing exchanges with the cashier about the stupid people who are choosing to stock up, in lieu of a Coronavirus lock-in.
‘Pathetic!’ agrees the cashier, a thirty-something-round-bellied jolly type, and I get the sense that to agree with customers is just part of his job. Or am I just bracing myself for my moment of shame? I survey my own collection of panic buys: two packs of bacon, two packs of pizza salami, two packs of veggie nuggets! Am I supposed to feel guilty for purchasing a few family provisions? Do I feel guilty? No! After all, how will my sprogs – one an avid meat-eater and the other a vegetarian with a dislike of vegetables – survive a home-lock-in on the split peas and lentils I stocked up on yesterday?
I look up and face my witnesses: ‘I’m one of the panickers!’ I laugh, as the Scorner seals the deal on his own goods. He glances at me, not sure how to react, thinks twice about saying anything, and heads for the exit.
Well, I’m panicking!’ I confess, again, to the Cashier, and we swap banter about my anxiety issues and his death arrangements. He has his Will in place, so isn’t worried! I have my repeat prescription for my be-happy-anti-depressant meds. We’ll both be okay!
I make a mental note to remember to phone up my doctor’s surgery and ask for an increased dose of Sertraline! Will the lines be too busy to get through? Will I have to make a face-to-face appointment with Doctor, or will he agree to issue the prescription over the phone? I recall my last visit to the Surgery – three days ago – I was the only person who bothered to use the hand sanitizer on entry to the waiting room, and the only patient not coughing! And why the necessity for registration via a touch pad?
On arrival home, I pack my buys into the freezer, and brace myself for the storm.
Within minutes of sitting down, I’m checking the BBC, TV and website, for the latest stats, the latest advice, the latest on the best hand cream for over-washed hands.
Won’t the hand-cream undo the work done with the hand washing? Doesn’t its application involve touching the pot and the lid?
By The Silly-Savvy Salopian