Savvy Article – Womenostop



Just pause for a moment – either mid-sentence, or mid-life, and consider this question.

Why is the beast that brings upon womankind symptoms such as: hot flushes, extreme anxiety, over-thinking and short-term forgetfulness labelled the menopause?

It’s got nothing to do with ‘men’, or with ‘pauses’, other than that it gives ‘men’ an excuse to practise their gas-lighting skills upon expensive employees in the late thirties to early fifties age bracket.

For, although writers, Sarah Boseley and Hilary Osborne (The Guardian), refer to the ’45 to 60s’, the so-called menopause can kick in when women are in their late thirties, or, in some cases, even earlier. Like with puberty, there is no specific age, or schedule that can be generalised to all. We all have our own unique sets of DNA. And, by the time a women passes the age of thirty-five, she is already an expense that the discerning employer, in a country that puts profit before people, would happily do without.

Would it not be a lot simpler, if the females of our species had an ‘off at 35’ switch installed into them shortly after birth?

Such a simple device  would save employers a fortune! Just consider the costs involved in contracting: undercover Bully & Fire Officers; cover staff for long-term sick leaves; Occupational Health Advisers; and Well-being Counsellors!  Then factor in: the favours needed to bring the Union Reps on board, and the time wasted in drawing up compromise agreements and redundancy deals.

And why should busy employers waste their own time skim-reading the ‘How to Get Rid Of’ manual. The aforesaid manual, is in itself a costly investment; it requires an annual update to keep pace with changing legislation – and is currently bracing itself for a complete post-Brexit overhaul!

All of this unnecessary time-consuming activity, and all with the added risk that an off-her-trolley disposable, might actually have enough brain cells left in its deteriorating grey matter to consider taking their prudent and forward-thinking employer to court for constructive dismissal!

Come on, old Boris, surely this idea is right up your street! Switch us old hags off at at thirty-five! After all, don’t the old studs like you need a refreshing young change now and again, to secure male longevity?

Book yourself into a clinic, Carrie, and get that switch removed before your aged beau requires an update!

Copyright owned by Jay Cool, 26th August 2019

Image by Wolfgang Eckert from Pixabay


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Published by The Silly-Savvy Salopian

Freelance writer and descendant of the cave dweller and outlaw, Humphrey Kynaston. Banished from Shropshire for my eccentricity, I have made my home in Suffolk. I write poetry, short stories, travel journals, comedy gig reviews and non-fiction articles. My wish is to write my way back into the heart of my birth land. All writing commissions (and free holidays in Shropshire!) considered.

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