32: The Outcome


Needless to say, now that I’ve hit the kitchen, things are deteriorating at tip-top speed.

I’ve gathered together the basics, i.e. a measuring jug and rolling pin, but, I’m having trouble with finding any available cooking chocolate. I would ask for your help out there, with a ‘Has anybody seen the chocolate?’ plea, but then you might think I’m some kind of children’s magician (now, that’s an idea)!


In an effort to salvage the situation, I’m modelling my best hat. All Catering Managers and Industrial Uniform Manufacturers – get in touch Jay Cool! With the help of a beautiful assistant, your edibles and non-edibles will sell like hot cakes! I say like hot cakes, because by the time you get the orders out (there’ll be such a backlog), the cakes will be stone cold, and the uniforms will be so yesterday. Still, people pay lots of dosh for vintage stuff! As, I said – get in touch and we’ll negotiate!

I find the flour (long times since I last used it – hope it’s still in date), some sugar, milk and eggs and decide, that even without the chocolate, I can probably find a suitable substitute and muscle up some sort of a dessert for the sprogs. Further investigation uncovers a tin of sardines. Sardine crepes? Why not? I did once mash up some sardines and mix them up with plain yogurt. Sprog 2 loved it (when too tiny to complain much), and downed it all, thanks to a devoted mum flying spoonfuls of the stuff into said mouth as she made Jumbo Jet noises. Sardine crepes wouldn’t be so different, would they?

Ketchup crepes? Regurgitated chocolate? Regurgitated chocolate it is!




Chocolate mixed with ketchup?

What an attractive shade of orange!


I have to say that I really am enjoying this cooking lark! There’s nothing like clearing the system out for a bit of a lift from the doldrums. Just what the doctor ordered!


And there’s nothing wrong with the odd, well-earned refill!

Following which, turn up the heat and get on with the job in hand!


My creation really does look like something special. Reminds me of an out-of-this-world pencil drawing I did, back in the day, at school – a depiction of the landscape on another planet, all blue grass and orange skies! What it would be to be there …..

Hmmmph! Okay, so I’ve singed the blue grass a touch. But whoever said one couldn’t have a bonfire on Venus?


Also, to be completely fair, then the outcome isn’t all that bad looking (in an orangey sort of a way)!



Yum! Appearances, in this case, are not at all deceptive. The finished product tastes as good as it looks!

Which is why, I’m just off to ….


Copyright owned by Jay Cool (currently on sick leave from the day job!), June 2019

Published by The Silly-Savvy Salopian

Freelance writer and descendant of the cave dweller and outlaw, Humphrey Kynaston. Banished from Shropshire for my eccentricity, I have made my home in Suffolk. I write poetry, short stories, travel journals, comedy gig reviews and non-fiction articles. My wish is to write my way back into the heart of my birth land. All writing commissions (and free holidays in Shropshire!) considered.

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