30: Chart Hit

End of the job that somehow led me to where I am now; led me to where I am but, perhaps not to who I am.

So who am !?

And, more to the point, what am I?

Needing to know what I am, it dawns on me that this is a rock-chick day.

A work colleague once put it to me that I had too many plums in my pie. I wanted to be a bit of this, a bit of that and a bit of the other (are there three types of plum?). He was wrong. Wrong in that he’d misunderstood me – failed to see the whole! Because, in truth, there is much more to me than that! What I really want to be is: a bit of this, that, this, the other, this, that, the other, and perhaps even a bit more of the other. To see me as three-dimensional was a complete misconception. I, Jay Cool, am more than that. I, Jay Cool, am (no, not even multi-dimensional): I have an infinite number of dimensions. With me there is no beginning, and there’s certainly no end. How could he have been so wrong?

You will, no doubt, be irritated with me at this point in my tale. What, the heck (can’t say h**l, i.e. I’m a vicar’s daughter), has any of that got to do with my rock-chick day? But, don’t you see? It’s got everything to do with it. The rock-chick Jay Cool is just one of the infinite. And, if you’ve read the preceding posts, you will already be familiar with a selection of the other bits of me, i.e. Jay Cool the artist, Jay Cool the writer, Jay Cool the ballerina, Jay Cool the geologist, Jay Cool the ………………blah, blah, blah!

But, forgetting the blah, blahs – today, I present to you: Jay Cool the rock chick! Time to Google ‘rock chick’! A rock chick, according to How to Be a Rock Chick, wears cut-off shorts, which look great over black leggings! It’s me. Shorts and leggings are my daily diet! Without even needing to sing or play a note, I am already a rock chick!

And, if you don’t believe me – take a look at these rock-chick legs:


Okay, so the shorts aren’t frayed, so the look is rather marred by the hemming – but it’s not my fault that Hubby hasn’t washed my pretending-to-be-young cut-offs yet! Is it? (And, anyone out there with a Hubby who doesn’t do all of the laundry, needs to get a replacement!)

I read on to see if I meet the other criterion:

‘Denim shorts also look great over black leggings or lacy tights, paired with combat boots or motorcycle boots.’

I’m not wearing combats and I don’t ride a motorcycle, but surely my walking boots will suffice!

And there’s more! I should actively seek out accessories featuring studs, skulls and hearts. Hearts? Forget all that mushy stuff. Is Barbie a rock chick? Skulls, however, I can do. I can also do hats and sunglasses. This rock-chick stuff is all me!


Even better, for the full qualification, I need to dye my hair black or bubblegum pink! Forget that! Orange is superior by far!

‘Adopt the attitude. Rock chicks are very confident. Carry yourself and your look with confidence. A rock girl is a thrill seeker that loves to have fun, but who is also relaxed.’

I’m there! I’ve qualified!


Now what?

The music? Well, this morning, I attended my guitar and singing lesson and recorded my next chart hit! Alright, it wasn’t exactly my chart hit, it was a Suzanne Vega number – Luka! And, I’m not entirely sure that Suzanne Vega is a rock singer – more folk! But, the details aren’t important!

This is Jay Cool, and Jay Cool is – today – a rock chick. Look out for my forthcoming song release. (Working on the original words and music as we speak!)

Oh! Just read some more rock-chick advice:

‘Being rebellious and getting in trouble is stereotypical of a rocker lifestyle. Don’t take it too far. You can be an authentic rock chick, enjoy the music and lifestyle, and even have a small rebellious streak without getting into trouble and alienating friends and family.’

Hubby wasn’t too bothered about my busking effort in town earlier (he did, after all, take the photo*), but if Mother Cool reads this post .. I’m done for!

And on that note ….


Copyright of text and photographs owned by Jay Cool, June 2019


*To be fair, then I did have to take said Hubby to the local for a bit of a tipple, before coercing him into taking on the role of my photographer! But the cost of a pint, or two, or even three, was a small price to pay (especially, as my chart hit is about to make me into UK’s top earner of 2019)!

Sources: All rock-chick quotations from ‘How to Be A Rock Chick’ (see link above).

P.S. One of Jay Cool’s past, plagiarised and pulverised chart hits, can be viewed on You Tube.

Published by The Silly-Savvy Salopian

Freelance writer and descendant of the cave dweller and outlaw, Humphrey Kynaston. Banished from Shropshire for my eccentricity, I have made my home in Suffolk. I write poetry, short stories, travel journals, comedy gig reviews and non-fiction articles. My wish is to write my way back into the heart of my birth land. All writing commissions (and free holidays in Shropshire!) considered.

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