Angel of the North at Leestock?

Neil Barber, aliases Prince Harry & Kenny Everett

Blunt scissors and flat notes. Turns out our Neil Barber, like his doppelganger Prince Harry, is not so sharp after all.

“You got the brains; I get the celebrity!”
(image labelled as Creative Commons Licensed from
 http://www.theurbangent.com/2011/04/prince-william-of-wales.html)

 

Barber’s notes are so flat that he hates musicians with a vengeance. (Not at all sure why voice-of-the-year, Gavin Milnthorpe, is hanging around to watch Barber’s set – that’s just politeness gone crazy!)

Gavin Milnthorpe, comedic singer

 

Barber kicks off his set with claims that Stevie Wonder has a blinkered view of love. Just as well old Stevie was blinkered. Historic memories of my own blinkered childhood come back to me – Jay Cool’s youthful enthusiasm and originality may have been a little too much for Stevie!
Take yourselves back in time to 1981, and picture Jay Cool at a fancy dress competition (Okay, so my interests haven’t matured much!), dressed up as Stevie Wonder’s mic….
 
There I was, looking stunning, in a yellow sleeping bag with a lampshade on my head.
 
“What a fantastic banana costume!” exclaimed the trying-too-hard judge (none other than the famous Mayor of Grimsby).
 
“No,” I corrected. “I’m Stevie Wonder’s microphone. And, this is Stevie Wonder himself!”
 
To which, my best friend, face all blacked up in boot polish, smiled obligingly – the boot polish being the perfect disguise for her, by now, beetroot-red complexion.
 

So sorry, Stevie, but I really hadn’t heard of the phrase ‘cultural appropriation’ back then! And only, six years prior to that, I had been a big collector of the token’s on Robinson’s jam. Jay Cool, in middle-age, is a lot more PC – honest”

 

That’s why I’m Pea Crazy and wearing my pea-green wig, complete with pea pod outfit. (And, no I am not trying to look like Kelis, or any particular member of the Jackson Five! Barber, get yourself over here with those scissors – blunt, or not, I need a skinhead cut!)

Time to play it safe  – time to get Neil Barber, his useless equipment, and his anti-musician thing out of my mind, and there’s no-one’s more PC than our next comic …

Lizanne Davis!

Top left to right: Neil Barber, Lizanne Davis & Bim

Lizanne, a highly successful career lady, (currently ‘chauffeur to a hairy-arsed dustman’) on her way to the top! Meghan, does Prince Harry have a hairy a***? Does he need a chauffeur?

Royal Chauffeur (stained-mattress collector for the council) aside, what I’m really impressed about with Lizanne, is that her cultural references are spot on! Everyone she jokes about, I know about. This is fantastic, but it generally takes me half-an-hour or so (with the help of trusty Google), to work out who our other comedians are blabbing on about. But, in the nano-second it takes Lizanne to wave her arms around, in an impersonation of who she would least like to have as a passenger in her dustbin lorry, I’m with her! It’s pretty clear that she has an eleven-year-old daughter. Only, yesterday, I nearly crashed my Sandero, when my youngest sprogg decided that she needed a wee, and did a hyperactive imitation of a windmill – just to emphasise the point. “Mum, mum, mum! How much longer until we get home – I need a wee?!” But, no! Lizanne has no daughter! She’s taking off, into the air, helicopter-style, as none other than Magnus Pike! Magnus Pike? The Magnus Pike! My childhood hero! A man of the seventies!

I can’t believe it! Here, in front of me, is a world-famous comedian – who is female and somewhere not far off the age of fifty! There’s hope for us all – even for me, Jay Cool! In two years time, I too, will be officially middle-aged (as at 100, I have every intention of being around to receive my, signed-on-behalf-of-the-Queen birthday card, from the hairy-a**** man’s grandmother!), still female, and I’ll be world famous!

Feeling celebratory, I join Lizanne, propel my wings – and prepare for take off. And, Lizanne’s take-off moment, seems to set the scene for things to come! Whoever knew that so many young twenty and thirty-something young male comedians, would rather be fifty and female! Just take a look at this lot ….!

Top: Gavin Milnthorpe, Louis Meers & Adam Bromley
Middle: Dom Mackie & Bim
Bottom row: Gee Noble, Aaron Spalding & Dom Holland

 

Not satisfied with being a helicopter (and, let’s face it, who wants to join forces with the Duchess of York?), Dom Mackie, did his very own impression of The Angel of the North.


Dom Mackie, alias The Angel of the North

In honour of my parents, Mr & Mrs Cool of Salop, currently masquerading as Geordies, Dom Mackie’s impersonation entitled him to the award of ‘ Jay Cool’s Comedian of Leestock 18’.

Copyright of text, and photographs of comedians, owned by Jay Cool, May 2018

P.S. For those still not convinced about Dom Mackie being worthy of such a prestigious award, take a look at this!

The Angel of the North, alias Dom Mackie (Wikipedia Commons)


If you enjoyed reading about our comedians, but would like even better, to see them in action for yourself, visit Suffolk Punch Comedy Club. We have regular gigs on the first Wednesday of every month, at The Brewery Tap, in Sudbury, Suffolk. Performances begin at 8pm. Entry is free! Donations for Prostate Cancer Research are, however, more than welcome. See you there!

 

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