Feeling all, feeling nothing well
is
nothing to be alarmed by, other than
all the effort involved in
feeling anything at
all.
By Jay Cool, January 2024
Upgradable
Able and graduated, he fills up at his usual steady pace,
growing and expanding to bursting point, and I know what it is to vicariously deflate.
By Jay Cool, 25th December, 2023
Faster, Wireless, Connected
Being wireless and connected,
I move faster along my allotted length of beingness until, finally, I reach my
s l o w e n d
stop.
Knotted
To be or not to be
in love
is to be me –
knotted.
By Jay Cool, 25th December, 2023
Winkleman v. Wall @ Ipswich Town FC
Suffolk Punch Comedy Club, a stand-up event on 20th July 2023 @ ITFC
The official blog by freelance creative, Jay Cool
So excited. Nothing kick-starts the old motor quite like punch after punch after punch of high-speed witticisms by Suffolk´s finest and funniest.
Take Louie Green, the top-rated compere with a talent for identifying and uprooting the most reluctant of participants.
Don´t let him pick on me, dont let him … Too late – he´s onto me! thinks Ashley.
Can you spot Ashley?
Photos by Jay Cool; image of audience members by Prawny from Pixabay.com
But, be your name Ashley, Ashley or even Ashley, if you´ve purchased a ticket for this show, there´s no escape and nowhere to hide. And, before one Ashley can object, the other Ashleys are left seething, as Louie (comedian-turned-talent scout) spares no blushes in signing up Priority Ashley as Ipswich Town´s goalie.
Awkward. But prior to any possible own-goal situation, a real man, a John rather than an Ashley comes to save the match. And John Mann does indeed turn out to be hilarious, even with his repertoire of funny being all tied up within a net of bedroom ropes, Scrotox (don´t ask!) and test kits for … (again, don´t ask!). For a share in all the hype, be it in a real Mann´s bedoire or otherwise, you´ll have to look up, book in and hook up with him yourself. Be quick, though – ´cos he´s a busy Johnny!
And this is all too evident when the Big-Mann Johnny scoots off to his next fixture …
Read more: Winkleman v. Wall @ Ipswich Town FC… and is replaced by the illustrious (not lusty!) Mark Roy.
Young Mark turns out to be more a connoisseur of sweets than of flavours of the bedroom. It´s all a light and tasty relief from the previous stand-up´s excesses.
At least it is … until a job lot of seemingly innocuous Flumps insert themselves into Mark´s set, all hunched and bunched up together and all in demand of a decent separation and straightening out session. Say no more …
No matter, stand-up Alexa´s here to help! Ask her anything and she´ll respond inpromptu, just like the real thing. Well, almost. This rugby-playing Alexa specialises in the physical-reflex response, as opposed to the verbal variety preferred by her namesake. This comes down hard on the audience, as we are winded over and over again, finding ourselves involuntarily doubled up with laughter at her twist and turn punchlines.
A headline act is expected, but what actually turns up next is a hairline act.
The appropriately named Tom Wall places his fine head of bowl-cut hair (very likely a wig – possibly a mop-head) to the forefront of a purple-bricked wall and proceeds to entertain us with a hair-raisingly goofy set, something akin to Claudia Winkleman´s shampoo commercials, i.e. both nauseatingly excruciating in the cringe (and the fringe) stakes, but with Wall being Head and Shoulders above Winkleman in promotional value.
A fitting finale to yet another fantastic evening of fool-headed freakiness, courtesy of Suffolk Punch Comedy Club.
If you enjoyed this blog (and even if you didn´t) please secure yourself a ticket for the next big comedy event, at The Brewery Tap in Sudbury, Suffolk. Look forward to seeing you there (along with your donation of a massive bagful of non-perishable edibles – one bag per ticket holder)!
By Jay Cool, author/ artist/ creative, July 2023
Useful links:
All is This
All is This
This is all.
All is this.
This is.
All.
Image & text by Jay Cool, March 2023
Miseverstood
Quirky, odd, miseverstood, she clutches at
the clouds that cuddle and clasp
the cords that knot together the
pylons that p u l l a p a r t
the pieces of themselves
with prancing.
Words and image by Jay Cool, February 2023
The Man That is Me
The Man That Is Me
Double-crumpled into U-bend,
I find the man that was me,
still is me – and with boots, rope and crampons –
as keen as ever,
I pull me up my neck and spine,
finding my growing knobbles and sinking crevices peaking
and troughing – perfectly purposed!
Passing over the plateau of myself, I plant a pip, a pop of proof, prior to
p u s h i n g
on
down
into the oblivion of my feet,
prevented from pausing by point and protrusion of raggedy toe-nail,
propelling me back up and over,
returning me to
the crumple
that is the
me that
is now.
The Now-Me.
“Plumb crumble? Double cream?” offers the trolley lady.
“And will that be with tea or coffee?”
And just for a moment, I find that the me that is now,
the Now-Me,
is perfectly-purposed
to taste.
By Jay Cool, 18th February 2023
Written in the voice of a mountaineer, stopped in his tracks by the onset of Parkinson´s Disease, a progressive and incurable illness that (amongst other painful and debilitating symptoms) has caused a severe curvature of his spine.
Image of mountaineer by sebastian del val from Pixabay.
Image of plums by h kama from Pixabay
Image of apple-crumble cake and coffee by Katja S. Verhoeven from Pixabay
The Segmented Self
I slaughter the segment of myself that is so special, that at special times, it remains especially – and self-destructively – silent.
by Jay Cool, December 2022
Wrong Words
I sit and smile and sit and smile
but the words that leave me behind
bear no witness to the me that
sits and smiles. Sits and smiles.
By Jay Cool, December 2022
The Silly-Savvy Salopian in Suffolk: read, believe and write ... 