This is it – the moment that you’ve all been waiting for!
The final scenes from the slow reveals, of my cheap-as-chips alternatives to Princess Beatrice’s floral frock, as featured in photos celebrating her recent engagement.
Here goes …
First, the £10 and something pence dress, ordered from Unbranded on ebay …
One cannot deny how stylish this is, especially when upgraded to a Summer-mourning-Autumn-going-on-Winter look, courtesy of: black leggings (Asda), black lace-up boots (Clarks) and a cerise-pink beret (probably Dorothy Perkins or Top Shop, back in the day, i.e. when I was very youthful!). Oh, and I mustn’t forget the sunglasses – brown-tinted-bifocals from Boots! I even managed to overcome the very-large-40″ bust of this plus-size dress, by a neat knot at the waist (it was not for nothing, that I was an over-zealous Girl Guide – again, back in the day!).
And the downsides?
The waist knot came undone when I went out for a modelling shoot with my washing line, as did the triple knot of my bootlaces! Clarks! Why can’t you kit your boots out with the old-fashioned-flat laces, rather than the new-fangled round ones that just don’t do the job? The round ones always work themselves undone and end up in either 1) the cat poo beneath my washing line or 2) one, or more, of the numerous cowpats on the water meadows so loved by Thomas Gainsborough (and, yes, I do believe that he went in for the bigger picture – not just for cowpat close-ups!).
The upsides?
The Unbranded dress looks fab with a variety of hat styles, in a variety of locations and, even better, if one has ginger hair – Harry and Ed, select your floral dress (has to be below £10 something!) and bond with Jay Cool!
And now for the second slow-reveal finale! Remember, the £6 dress from TU, the anyone-can-wear-it Sainsbury’s brand?
Get ready ….
I love this! It’s predominantly purple (my twin-favourite colour (red being the other!)), it can be dressed down, dressed up, or simply presented with an Unbranded curtain for a backdrop.
So versatile!
Better rush if you want the TU dress – bought it about a week ago in the sales! But, if it’s the 40″ bust number you’re after, you may still be in luck! I’m guessing that these are probably made to order from an enterprising individual with her (his?) own sewing machine, and bust sizes just keep on going up and up and up …
As for me? I’m changing back into my purple Primark t-shirt, my comfy ballerina-style pumps (Clarks – you’ll have to buy two pairs to get the look!), and then I’ll be settling down with a cup of Stockwell & Co. to read Christina Henry’s ‘Lost Boy’ (which I have to say has got off to a rather sinister start, having already given me the heebie-jeebies!).
Toilet! Where are you?