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So, how many words of my ‘book in a week’ have I churned out since yesterday?
None.
Zero.
Zilch.
Mrs Hinch is, of course, to blame for this prevarication! How?
I have just spent several hours in the company of Brillo pads and Elbow Grease, scrubbing at the glass on the inside of my oven door. And because I am not one of those sad bloggers, who posts photos of everything they do, including all of the meals they eat, then here is the evidence:
Now I appreciate that this door might not look very clean to you (i.e. my one loyal viewer, Ricardo Scribblero), but in the ‘before’ pic, that door was completely opaque. If not especially clear, then it is at least now translucent. And the poor quality of the photo can be blamed on the sunlight coming through my kitchen window, and my Nokia phone.
Yes, for those who are familiar with my Back to the Myddle posts, then I have said goodbye to my loyal Motorola phone, supposedly for an upgrade. Can’t say I’m impressed, the Motorola may have been more-than-a-little on the slow side, but it did take good photos – and they were usually in focus! Shame on you, Nokia! Your phone is costing me £1 a month more than the Motorola – and for what?
The opening page of my book is yet to be written, but I have a cleaner-than-before oven door, so that is surely something to be proud of. Besides which, then today is Saturday! Who writes books on a Saturday?
And before you get the idea in your head that my new life, outside of the Day Job, is never going to get started – then, think again! Today, as well as cleaning my oven door, I made a further significant move in the right direction. Today, I …
applied for a job!
A job? Am I crazy? Does getting out of one job entail getting into another?
Don’t stress, folks (i.e. Ricardo), this is not a day job as such. The job I applied for can be tackled at any time of any day or any night – all at a time of my choosing! And I will not have to meet the boss, because the boss will be a very expensive flight away in the USA. I’ve applied for a remote writing role, producing the content for literature revision books. And as long as the first commission they send me is to write a literary analysis of the new ‘Miss Ginger’ book, I’ll be made up! ‘Miss Ginger’ is on the American syllabus for secondary school students – is it not?
Then, once I’ve completed my analysis of ‘Little Miss Ginger’, I can move onto the analysis of my own forthcoming book, which is sure have been earmarked for the 2019-2020 curriculum!
Right, I’m onto it; I have the opening chapter of my book in my head as we speak!
Just nipping back to the kitchen to hoover up the bits of congealed fat that fell out of the oven first, and then I need to mop the floor with some of that Zoflora stuff Mrs Hinch goes on about. And then ….
Copyright owned by Jay Cool, May 2019
Click on the image and/or text links below, if you wish to purchase a bargain pack of all your favourite Zoflora fragrances from Amazon.co.uk (or even some Brillo pads!), and I will receive a commission at no extra cost to yourself (go on, Ricardo, you know you want some!).
Mr Muscle Brillo Multi Use Soap Pads, Pack of 10
Sadly, Amazon has not yet seen fit to add ‘Little Miss Ginger’ to their product list. Get with it, Amazon! Ginger is in!
The Silly-Savvy Salopian in Suffolk: read, believe and write ... 