27: Interesting




Interesting that my shortest post, in this series, Knackered, has received a bumper number of viewings! I can only conclude from this, that the whole world, including the people in it, is knackered. ‘Is’ being the appropriate tense of verb to use because, in all being knackered, we are all as one, i.e. knackered.

Definitely think I’m getting the knack of this ‘knackered’ lark. Tragically, being a wee bit odd, as I am (needs declaring, as I’m guessing you haven’t noticed), I don’t have any desire to be at one with everyone else in this small world. Sure, there are lots of great, funny and compassionate people out there, but there are also an awful lot of …

… wa***ers!

And, oddly enough, being odd, I have no wish whatsoever to join the wa**ers.

Hence, in case again you haven’t noticed, hence the reason why I am Getting Out of one of the many factions of the wa__erhood!

There are, of course, many issues behind my wish to disassociate myself from the wa**erhood, and plenty to be the subject of forthcoming wa**erhood posts but, for this particular moment in my very interesting life (i.e I really don’t have time to write about all of them now), this reason will have to suffice:

The Problem with the Wa**erhood in General

A bold and brave guest on BBC Radio this morning (no idea who), summed the situation up perfectly when airing his views about the current state of British industry. Companies appoint their own guiding bodies, and then, when criticised for any of their ridiculous actions, state that all was perfectly above both formal and informal law, because, as legally and morally obliged to do, they took advice from their guides. They did, therefore, as they always do, exactly the right thing on every single decision that they have been, are and will be questioned about by their own employees and by the public in general. The Wa**erhood, therefore, can never be wrong, which means that they will for now and evermore remain ..

… wa**ers.


And, now that I have the attention of all the non-wa**ers, and all the want-to-be-a-non-wa**er out there, it’s time to get back to the serious business, and the sole reason for this blog – me!

Today, is my day off from my faction. Today, I do not have to suffer the prickles of anxiety, as worries about how my colleagues view me intrude upon my thoughts. I do not have to but, at this moment, I still am.

As any of my readers with any ability to empathise will know (i.e. pretty sure that all humans go through the same experience at some point in their lives, if not all through their lives), then one of the issues with trying to shake off the influence of the faction, is that its side-effects have a tendency to linger. It’s a lot like having your hands covered in paper glue that doesn’t want to leave you. It sticks to one’s hand, until it is subjected to the slow and tedious process of being peeled off strip by strip. And, even when the stripping process seems to be over, one’s hands still feel more than a little red, raw and bloody. Hence, this morning, I still feel shaky and jittery and the outer shell of my head still feels like it is tightening up, in preparation for subjecting all matters that might lie within to the crusher

And the cure?

I am the cure. Only, I, Jay Cool can cure myself. Only, I can defend my boundaries against fresh invasions of the Wa**erhood. Only I can can make sure that all that all attacks are relegated to the land that lies beyond. Luckily, I have my laptop and an account with WordPress. I am the island castle; my laptop is my moat, and together, with a little help from WordPress, we will take control of the drawbridge.

Fellow nutters – you are welcome!

Wa**ers – don’t bother setting up your base camp on my borders! Sod off!

And, having dealt with that lot, perhaps it’s time. Time to plop, scrub, dress in appropriate attire (my pink tutu?), grab my broomstick, and zoom on down from my mountain-top cave. (Oops, did I claim to be living in a castle on an island?)


Copyright owned by I, Jay Cool, The Silly-Savvy Salopian in Suffolk, June 2019


P.S. On the topic of islands, then I must take the opportunity to reveal to you one of my favourite childhood (and adulthood) reads. Nothing beats reading about the adventures of a group of sprogs, left to their own devices, on an island in the middle of nowhere. And, no, I’m not talking about that awful book in which Piggy gets murdered. That’s just depressing! I’m talking about Enid Blyton’s ‘The Secret Island’! Book review coming up shortly!

Published by The Silly-Savvy Salopian

Freelance writer and descendant of the cave dweller and outlaw, Humphrey Kynaston. Banished from Shropshire for my eccentricity, I have made my home in Suffolk. I write poetry, short stories, travel journals, comedy gig reviews and non-fiction articles. My wish is to write my way back into the heart of my birth land. All writing commissions (and free holidays in Shropshire!) considered.

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