Storm Diary 7 – Mountains

Thursday 12th March, 2020

This morning, reticent about a second encounter with the cough-all-over-everyone ladies of Aldi, I braved the alternative, and ventured into Tesco to seek out some Dettol Anti-Bac Spray.

No Anti-Bac Spray left!

Considered purchasing toilet rolls instead (still available!). But figured that, failing a very long stint of diarrhoea, I would have difficulty finding a home for anymore. Settled for a pot of Natural Yoghurt (to boost Sick Sprog’s immune system?) and a box of tissues.

Settling for anything was a mistake; turns out the male customers of Tesco are on a par with the type of ladies who frequent Aldi – I fell victim to the coughing of a middle-aged-trolley-pushing gent, just as I thought I’d made it to the exit without major incident.

Won’t be going to Tesco again.
Waitrose? Too expensive?

Returned home in time to wash my hands (did not sing Happy Birthday!), deliver Sick Sprog’s breakfast Cheerios, and to settle down ready to hear the outcome of Boris’ Cobra meeting. Had to wait a long time, as his verdict wasn’t delivered until 4.30pm!

Watched episodes of ‘Dinner Date’ and ‘Posh Pawn’ in the interim, my enjoyment of which was only marred by the return of Non-Sick Sprog from school. Don’t get me wrong, I was of course, delighted to see her, but I was not so delighted to hear that her Anti-Back Hand Gel had been stolen from under her nose. Stolen? Or mislaid?

But who am I, a mere Anti-Bac Disperser, to make that judgement?

And was Boris, in the end, worth the long wait? No! Not a single school closure on the horizon.

Should I use my own judgement and keep Non-Sick Sprog off school tomorrow? Would I be protecting her by keeping her at home? Or would I be protecting other children from the transmission of Sick Sprog’s virus? Is Non-Sick Sprog a Non-Symptom Super Spreader?

I consult Hubby.

Hubby, in-between coughs (claims to be fine – has asthma!), is all Boris smitten, saying there is no point in keeping Non-Sick Sprog off school as everyone has it anyway by now.

I’m not convinced.

Nonetheless, Non-Sick Sprog will attend school tomorrow.

I email James Cartwright, our local MP, to complain about Boris’ decision, giving him lot of details about the upside-down mountain ranges under classroom desks – mounting collections of virus-ridden chewing gum!
Close our schools, Boris! And close them now!

By The Silly-Savvy Salopian


Storm Diary 6 – Boris

Image by 💛 Passt gut auf euch auf und bleibt gesund! 💛 from Pixabay

Published by The Silly-Savvy Salopian

Freelance writer and descendant of the cave dweller and outlaw, Humphrey Kynaston. Banished from Shropshire for my eccentricity, I have made my home in Suffolk. I write poetry, short stories, travel journals, comedy gig reviews and non-fiction articles. My wish is to write my way back into the heart of my birth land. All writing commissions (and free holidays in Shropshire!) considered.

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