Monday 9th March 2020
Middle Sprog – the sick one – very pleased to be off school missing his Maths mock exam; not so pleased about his sore throat. Another symptom of Coronavirus? Or does he know about my secret stash of lemon and honey lozenges?
Who knows? NHS 111 is busy!
Youngest Sprog not so pleased to have to go into school. My query to her Headteacher about whether the sibling of a sick person ought to go in having been met with:
‘If Sprog is well, they should attend school as normal, in line with Government advice.’
Hubby not so pleased to have to go to work.
Me not so pleased about Hubby going to work to collect viruses from computer keyboards.
What does Boris Johnson know about anything? Why shut schools, if it will have a detrimental effect on the economy? Why stop parents from going to work for the purpose of attending sick sprogs?
‘Boris, I do not go to work. Thanks to your Conservative government’s austerity measures, I was made redundant. I’m here – at home! Allow me to wait hand and foot on my not-sick Sprog, as well as the sick one, in the name of equality! Wait, forget that! I’ve just seen the state of Not-Sick Sprog’s room. Boris, change of plan – keep the schools open!’
Still, all is not bleak. According to my latest internet search, the first British man to catch Covid-19 in Wuhan cured himself – by drinking lots of whisky with honey! Must text Hubby with instructions to purchase some supplies.
Back to back episodes of ‘Storage Hunters’. Whisky. Not too bleak a prospect (for some). Cheers Hubby! My be-happy meds come with a ‘Do not drink alcohol!’ warning.
Blackcurrant and apple squash from Farmfoods.
Doom. Gloom. Despair.
I’m calling 111. They will respond!
By The Silly-Savvy Salopian