18: Designer?

Seems I’ve written numerous blog posts today, but no book! Perhaps I won’t manage to keep my pledge to write a book in a week after all. And I haven’t even beaten my viewing record – only 114 views on my blog today – and most (probably all of them) from my one and only fan, the aged poet Ricardo Scribblero! Guess that, being retired, he’s got nothing better to do! That’s fine though, Ricardo – you’re more than welcome to keep on following, reading and liking.

Amazon Associates seem to have cottoned onto the fact that I haven’t sold a single book on their behalf; I’ve just received an email suggesting that the best way to gain a genuine following for my brand (what brand?) is to attend a food and wine networking event. Send me a wine voucher, Amazon, and I’ll be there! Sorry, Ricardo, it seems that you are not a genuine follower! But click through to Amazon, via one of my book image links, and purchase a book – and I’m sure you’ll soon qualify. I particularly recommend Mrs Hinch’s book: Hinch Yourself Happy.

Go on, Ricardo – go for it! Get that mop out. Make Mrs Scribblero’s day!

Book aside, I decide to rope Sprog 2 in for a walk to the exciting destination of Farmfoods. He’s rather reluctant to get going – something to do with the strange assortment of clothes I’m wearing. Seems that I’m an embarrassment. But, as far as I’m concerned, this is all well and good. Never did understand what the issue was with double-denim, or even with wearing a short fleece over a long denim jacket. I think that in true Cool style, I look cool – and being cool is all that counts.

We make the journey out to Farmfoods at a rapid pace (Sprog 2 is several yards ahead of me and running!) and we proceed to purchase an extortionately-priced-bumper-sized box of Cheerios and a completely immoral amount of gammon, pork sausages and bacon. Unhappy about Sprog 2’s tastes, I balance things out with a 2 for 2 deal on vege sausages.

Time to head back to the cave.

The long walk back proceeds at a snail’s pace. Sprog 2 seems to have forgotten how embarrassing my clothes are, because he’s now preoccupied with how embarrassing my activities are. “I knew it was a mistake, coming out with you!” he declares, as a stop for the umpteenth time to take photos of the local blooms.

I disagree and I’m putting the whole issue out to my audience for tender. Please tell me whether I was wasting everyone’s time by taking these superb pics:

Northern Approach collage1

Whoever would have thought that a stroll along the unsightly and very busy Northern Road of Sudbury, along the periphery of Chilton’s Industrial Estate, could offer up such jewels!

Sprog 2 informs me that I really ought to be taking photos of all the litter, which is, apparently, far more interesting than the flowers. So here goes:


Rather like this blue balloon – the colour is a beautiful contrast with its leafy canvas!

I snap on:

Northern Road 2 collage

Yes, my viewers – there is plenty to see, if only you take the time to look, even in the most unlikely of locations. This is Sudbury in Bloom!

And, if you believe, you might even see the impossible. Just look at these fairy homes! What magnificent toadstools!


You might even see the beauty in this factory signage, if you can conjure up more than a lot of imagination!


Okay, so I’m struggling to see it myself. But, I guess that the blinds have an interesting design – don’t they?

Time for Jay Cool to take action. Time for the businesses of Sudbury to buy into the unique designs of Suffolk’s best Salopian designer. Imagine …

… if the blinds were in tune with their natural surroundings. Tomorrow, I get to work on my new project. I’m going to design the pattern for KB Kent Baxhill’s new blinds. The design will incorporate all the best specimens of the local blooms.

“Mum! Mum! Stop taking photos! My gammon needs to go in the fridge! Come on!”

Watch this space …


Copyright of text and photos owned by Jay Cool, May 2019


Published by The Silly-Savvy Salopian

Freelance writer and descendant of the cave dweller and outlaw, Humphrey Kynaston. Banished from Shropshire for my eccentricity, I have made my home in Suffolk. I write poetry, short stories, travel journals, comedy gig reviews and non-fiction articles. My wish is to write my way back into the heart of my birth land. All writing commissions (and free holidays in Shropshire!) considered.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: