Private Eye’s up for stockpiling,

bog roll and tinned sardines –

so hard to keep on smiling,

with Tories such machines


that May just keeps on ranting

(she’s sticking to her guns)

and won’t admit lamenting,

the ones who had the runs.


No hope of her resigning

(she’s far too fond of mules),

but half the country’s signing

to join up with the cools!


With Independents reigning

high-up in headline news,

it’s time for realigning –

to listen to their views.


Us Leavers aren’t retiring;

with rebels we will fight.

Sharp arrows will keep firing –

at those with shortened sight.


Don’t bother redesigning

Brexit’s wall of shields;

we mustn’t end up starving

on stingy May’s duff deals!


Remain and you’ll be downing

Blutwurst red-hot sausage.

If shot, you’ll join the dying  g   a   s   p   s   of

fish from Trump’s back passage!



Copyright owned by Jay Cool, February 2019


Inspiration take from the front-cover headline of the ‘Private Eye’ magazine, dated 8-21 February 2019.

P.S. Fear not for the state of Trump’s old bum, ‘cos May’s on hand to help; she’s plenty of bog roll to help his run, and when that’s run out, she’ll yelp!














Published by The Silly-Savvy Salopian

Freelance writer and descendant of the cave dweller and outlaw, Humphrey Kynaston. Banished from Shropshire for my eccentricity, I have made my home in Suffolk. I write poetry, short stories, travel journals, comedy gig reviews and non-fiction articles. My wish is to write my way back into the heart of my birth land. All writing commissions (and free holidays in Shropshire!) considered.

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