Savvy Letter – Dear Tesco

                                                                                                                       Chooky’s Nest

                                                                                                                       Free-Range Run

                                                                                                                       Small Town Farm

                                                                                                                       Suffolk

28th September 2019

 

 

To my once-dearest Tesco, 

 

Why? Why? Why?

Why, Tesco, have you stopped selling free-range chicken legs and wings and other body parts?

I would like to think that this is because all of your customers have turned vegetarian but, judging by the range of cheaper-than-cheap battery hen alternatives, I rather suspect that this is not the case!

What are us vegetarian mums supposed to provide for our carnivorous offspring and partners? How can I justify buying a pack of eight legs for little over £2, knowing that those legs have never seen the light of day, let alone put their feet on the ground?

Yes, Tesco, I know that you still sell whole free-range chicken bodies. But these are a trifle more expensive than the packs of once-went-outside legs that you used to offer! Some of us are on Jobseeker’s Allowance or Universal Credit! And, when three members of the family are vegetarian, how are the other two supposed to gobble up a whole-big-fat chicken between them?

Tesco, you have really let me down this time! And, whilst I’m on your case, what has happened to your own brand of very large family-sized pizzas? These were perfect for a family of five, and cheap enough for consumption every Friday – leaving enough of the funds left over for a bottle of the cheapest red wine (okay, so I mean the carton of Spanish house wine – it’s better value, due to its generous capacity)! Why have your replaced these deliciously-cheesy-oven-shelf-squashable pizzas, that came in just a cellophane wrapping with smaller-boxed-branded-and-ridiculously-expensive alternatives. It’s just not good enough! We are wading through the debris of an environmental crisis, so why double up on the packaging? It wouldn’t be so bad had you replaced the cellophane wrapping and foam base with the cardboard! But no, you had to keep the cellopane and foam, and add a box to the whole c**p*y deal!

And what happened to your Value range? I loved your Value coffee. I rather suspect (due to it’s familiar-bran-flake flavour) that its Blackwell & Co substitute, is in fact, the same stuff. But … here’s the crunch line. It’s more expensive!

Us plebs are getting poorer, thanks to the fat cats getting richer (cheers, Cameron, May and Johnson!), and the price of a shop at Tesco (your baking powder is extortionate) rises by the day!

For my next shop, I’m going to have to get in my non-environmentally-friendly car, and take a trip out of town to the nearest Asda – 17 miles away! Even with the added cost of the wear and tear and the fuel, I’ll still be saving the pennies (and £10 notes!).

Tesco, you have let me down!

 

Yours peckingly,

 

Jay Cool (The Silly-Savvy-Corn-Fed Blogger)

 

P.S. And what happened to the wonky carrots? Were they just a publicity stunt? Haven’t had the pleasure of having to peel a carrot’s cleavage for some time now!

 

 

Image of chicken by Jay Cool

 

Published by The Silly-Savvy Salopian

Freelance writer and descendant of the cave dweller and outlaw, Humphrey Kynaston. Banished from Shropshire for my eccentricity, I have made my home in Suffolk. I write poetry, short stories, travel journals, comedy gig reviews and non-fiction articles. My wish is to write my way back into the heart of my birth land. All writing commissions (and free holidays in Shropshire!) considered.

3 thoughts on “Savvy Letter – Dear Tesco

  1. Right on! Plenty of other supermarkets out there (you also get more special offer coupons if you stop being loyal to one particular one – I know this from comparison with friends who don’t have our fixation with Sainsburys)!

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    1. Yes, must get around to abandoning Tesco for Colchester’s Asda! They had fab leggings at Asda, last time I was there – you should try some out!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Amazing – can you have a go Bannatynes, Clarice House for me? No decaf coffee anymore and the hot chocolate tastes like boiled water – but they are dealing with Starbucks so it’s their own fault!

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